A week without the scale

So every year my family goes out to Lake Ann, Michigan for a camping trip and it's always an amazing time! My dad is an incredible cook and is famous for his grilling. One of the food highlights this year was making homemade tomato sauce over the fire! The tomatoes came straight from my dad's garden and the results were SO GOOD!

During the 8 hour drive downstate I made the decision that I wasn't going to track my food for the week. I also knew that there wasn't a scale in the middle of the woods, so I had to focus on making good choices, but not obsessing over them.

My relationship with the scale has never been the healthiest. I weigh at least once daily and often allow that morning number to dictate my mood for the rest of the day. This is something I have been working on, but still have lots of room for improvement. So yes, camping! The week was amazing :-) It was so freeing not to be tracking my food at every meal! I tried my best to focus on healthy choices and had lots of fun teaching my mom about high protein foods. I followed my plan for the most part, but did have a 'treat' almost every evening (these indulgences included s'mores, icecream, and hard cider)!

For the most part I felt I was doing pretty good! I went with quest bars in the morning instead of the doughnuts and made sure to have protein at every meal. I even got some exercise in! Mentally I was in a good spot.

Then the last day came around and I started to have some serious anxiety. What if I gained weight? I didn't track, how many calories were in those s'mores? Did I get enough 'intense' exercise? All these questions seemed to hit me all at once until I had convinced myself I had gained 10 lbs over my trip and it would take weeks to undo all my bad choices. I was dreading getting back on that scale when I got home!

We packed up and went home. P.S isn't my puppy adorable! She didn't want us to leave!

So I got home and guess what? No weight gain! I even lost a little... So what did I learn?

• I have a lot of work to do mentally on this journey. The scale can't make or break me. I need to focus on how I feel, my energy levels, and my overall health! 
• I can actually lose weight even if I don't track my food! (I still will but won't freak out if I miss a day) 
• Little treats (on special occasions) will not undo all the hard work I have done
• I have the best support group ever :) Thanks guys for telling me to relax and just enjoy my trip! 

It was such an amazing trip and I already am looking forward to next year!

God Bless,
Sarah 

Talking about my (not so tiny) tummy - 9mth post-op

For the most part I haven't focused my blog posts specifically on my surgery because I knew going into this that the surgery could only get me so far. I knew I needed to focus on the total lifestyle change and not just my tiny tummy. Sometimes I do get the occasional person who misses that fact when just glancing through my posts and I find myself feeling really guilty. I mean besides the posts titled "Why I have decided to go through with bariatric surgery" or "Day of Surgery" I can totally see how my other references could be subtle enough to miss. I hope that everyone understands that I was in no way trying to hide that piece of information from you all. It just hasn't been my primary focus when moving towards my goals of achieving true health and fitness... vs just getting skinny.

With that being said I'm going to talk about my tummy for a bit. At this point I just need to get these fears and concerns out there because I know nothing good will come from holding them in.

My tiny tummy is not so tiny... 

I'm afraid that I have somehow either stretched out my stomach, it was made too large to start with, or I have something else going on. I know the comparison game is a dangerous one, but I can eat a whole heck of a lot more than other sleevers. Like a lot.  I brought this up with my doctor and got a lot of great advice and information. I'm going to share this information as it applies to my personal situation. My hope is that if you are also concerned about your capacity that this post can help you gain the confidence (and give you some questions) to bring up the subject with your own doctor. I am not a professional, so please make sure to consult one before making any major changes to your plan.

An interesting fact:

As many of us know the gastric sleeve is a fairly new surgery in the bariatric world and new research is coming in every day. According to my doctor (I wish I asked for the article he was citing) they are finding that even though the sleeve patient has a much smaller stomach post surgery, it can empty much faster than it used to. This doesn't happen to everybody, but can be a big problem with others and can cause increased hunger along with an apparent larger capacity.

Because it is difficult to stretch the sleeve, this could potentially be what is going on with me. Here are some things that he suggested to try for that.

• Stopping eating before feeling 'full' - This one is very difficult for me. I have almost always used full as my signal to stop eating. Now I have to learn to slow down, listen to my body, and stop eating when I no longer feel hungry. 

• Drink ice water - The cold of the ice water can cause the stomach to temporarily tighten up given you slightly more restriction 

In addition to doing the above things, I was also told to become much more consistent with eating. I am now supposed to eat 4 meals a day, around the same times each day with around the same number of calories and protein in each meal. My eating was all over the map and my NUT wants to avoid confusing my metabolism too much, which makes sense. I am also supposed to be more consistent with exercise, working out 5 days a week. Three of the days with 40 minutes cardio, and the other two days 20 minutes cardio and 20 minutes strength training. This more consistent exercise is preferred to what I was doing where I would go super hard and long for a few days then take a 4-5 days completely off. 

Hopefully you've found something useful or interesting above! I'm looking forward to taking all the above advice and continuing on in my journey. :-) As of now I have lost 62% of my excess weight. I have come SO far but still have a ways to go. Keep on keeping on!

With love,
Sarah 

Recognizing a problem

To be honest for the last week or so I've been struggling. I've stayed pretty consistent with my exercise, but my eating had gotten out of control. I was CONSTANTLY craving more food and even though  I wasn't hungry my head told me to have more. My will power also seemed to be lacking. Another thing that got me really discouraged is that I had gotten really close to breaking out of the 200's only to climb back up again. In my mind 200 seemed like a huge barrier and I started seriously doubting my ability to break through it.
I reached out to my FB support group and got some wonderful advice. They told me to take a serious and honest look at my food logs. It didn't take me long to recognize the problem.

Carbs. Unlike most bariatric patents I have never really jumped on the low-carb bandwagon. Following the advice of my nutritionist, I just focused on having balanced meals and avoiding the processed and 'white' carbs. She told me that if I focused on my protein and veggies I shouldn't need to restrict that carbs that much. I completely agree with her balanced eating program, but when looking at my food diary I noticed that I had moved away from those 'good' carbs a lot more than I should, and the result was never good. When I ate these refined carbohydrates and sugar it was always more than one serving. In addition to that the trend for the day was even more carbs! I have come to realize that for me personally, eating carbs means craving carbs.

So now what? I have decided that it is time to start carb counting, at least for a few weeks. I haven't decided on a number yet besides 'considerably' lower. I'm going to try to do this by adjusting things slowly, paying attention to my energy levels and cravings, and hoping my body will tell me where I need to be. Many of my other friends who do eat lower carb report less cravings and better weight loss which sounds amazing to me right about now. I can tell you I am looking forward to KILLING that 200lb wall! I'll for sure be checking in and reporting how this diet change is going for me.

I leave you with this bit of motivation that has truly helped me get through the last few days.

God Bless!

When life isn't in your favor

When I am at home I have the ability to be in complete control of what I eat. As a control freak I thrive in my own environment. I can plan out all my meals, weigh and measure all my portions, and know that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. The reality of the situation is that I can't always be at home and there will be times where I am put into a situation where the world isn't about me and my weight loss journey.

This week I found myself in one of those situations. I went out to a camp for a few days to serve as the waterfront director for a local school. It was a BEAUTIFUL location and I welcomed the opportunity to get out of town for a few days. I honestly had a great time; everyone stayed safe the the kids really had a lot of fun.

What I did not prepare for when I was out at camp was the food choices. There was one lady in the kitchen that was responsible for cooking for about 75 people, so as you can imagine we weren't given many (if any) alternative options. Our meals consisted of things like hot-dogs, french fries, french toast, sausage smothered with grease... almost no healthy options. There were a few meals where they did put out some celery and carrots, but for the most part I was struggling. On top of the meals they had a ton of cookies and candies that they served as snacks, and of course what's camp without s'mores! They even had a special cabinet of 'goodies' for the counselors and staff. I have a major sugar addiction and at home I am able to fight it some by keeping 'treats' out of the house, but at camp.... things didn't go so well on that front. To make matters worse I didn't have service on my phone so I couldn't even use MyFitnessPal app to see how bad things actually were.

I think was surprised me the most was how my body felt. Even though I was eating more than I had in months, I was constantly hungry. My energy levels were super low, so even when I tried to get moving and do some light exercise the motivation dwindled quickly. I stopped craving my yogurt and protein shakes while my mind turned toward that next cookie or candy bar. Bluntly, I felt like s***. I have can't believe I used to live like that all the time with that much sugar in my body. It was truly a wake up call and a great reinforcement that I am moving in the right direction with my health.

At camp, life was not in my favor. It wasn't the ideal environment that I had set up for myself at home and I struggled. I gained weight, felt like crap, and I've moved on. It's time to put all of that behind me and continue with my journey towards health and fitness.

So what have I learned from this whole experience? First of all I need to think ahead. I need to remember that most places I go will not be set up for WLS patients. I had the ability to pack and bring food from home if I would have thought about it. Also reflecting back I realized that exercise was always an option. No matter where you are all you have to do is keep moving. I am confident that next time adventure strikes I will be prepared with better food and exercise options. :-)

NSV (non-scale victory) of the week: I now fit in my husbands jacket!

I hope all of you are doing well! Enjoy your memorial day weekend!