When coffee fell from heaven...

Some days it takes having too much of a bad thing for your body to finally let your brain know how bad it is for you. It's a well known secret by many of my friends that I struggle with sugar. I love it. It is probably one of the main reasons I gained so much weight in the first place. When I made the choice to have bariatric surgery I was told that there was a good chance my body wouldn't tolerate sugar anymore. After praying and praying for that it be the case it had seemed like my wish didn't come true. I seemed like I had a sleeve (my post surgical stomach) of steel that could tolerate whatever I put into it (as demonstrated by my last post where I ate tons of holiday treats). Today I learned otherwise. Sugar in a liquid form is the devil....

I have been enjoying my expensive coffee drinks quite frequently lately but I go for the sugar-free version. I did this to avoid the large amounts of calories that usually go along with these types of drinks. Well today when Micah and I went out for coffee I saw that the 'special' was an eggnog latte. Sounds amazing right!! Goodness that tasted like a piece of holiday heaven. However about 15 minutes after the cup was drained the nausea started to settle in.  I became dizzy, my heart started racing and I just felt sick sick sick. Turns out sugar in the liquid form moves through your system much faster which gave me minor case of dumping syndrome.

With all the talk about how artificial sugars are horrible for you I had been considering turning away from them. After today my body made it perfectly clear what it prefers.

Sugar-free for me!

Shame

Today was rough. Really rough. It started out well. I woke up, had my shake, then went to work. They were having a holiday party and I had a brilliant plan to only pick out one treat to have.

Before I knew it I had a full plate, and kept going back for more during the 3+ hours I was there. It's like that old fat person just came right back out and decided that stuffing my face was worth any consequences that it may have...

The rest of the day just spiraled down from there. I felt sick, depressed, and lost all motivation that I had for the day. I was ashamed. After all the hard work that I've done over the last year it's scary how quickly the old me can come back. The head games are real.

Sorry for the negative post but I am so sick of hearing how if you have weight loss surgery weight loss will be so easy and it will just fall right off. I've worked my butt off in the gym, refused my favorite foods countless times, and it's not like that is easy. I have the ability to stuff my face like today all the time. I CAN eat crap and I can eat plates full of it. If I give up today I could easily gain back all of the weight I've lost in the next few months.

It's days like this where I have to pick myself back up and start again tomorrow. I've come too far to give up.

Tomorrow is a new day.

December Goals

1. Complete my first Project10 Challenge

2. Complete all 30 days of the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred

3. Give PiYo a shot and start working on my flexibility

4. Don't be afraid of strength training

5. Use swimming as 'active recovery' instead of doing nothing when I'm sore


Short and simple. :-)